As you understand more and more your reasons for voice muting from your childhood environment, this understanding leads you to how child-like and small you have had to be even though you are a grown-ass adult. You may give the outward presentation that you are an adult, someone who resembles an adult in age and body only, but your voice does not give the same presentation. Your voice is, actually, the voice of a child. The two (body and voice) are not a match, just yet.
You didn’t get to experience your voice’s capabilities because you were afraid of owning this power. You didn’t know that your voice had options because in childhood you were taught not to use one of the most incredible power options or sources you own. You didn’t know your voice was built in to serve you. Your voice is foundational, it’s not an add-on.
The “others” and their relationship with you modeled the voice muting so that you got it. You were to serve the “others,” bowing down to this modeling so you could belong. Home, religion, spirituality and many other arenas, they all operate under this muting spell and you’ve been searching to belong all your life. But you haven’t been searching to belong to your voice. You’ve been taught to follow the light (whatever it represents), the lure to escape what which is foundational. How is the light going to serve you if you don’t use your voice to speak up for what you need in each moment? It’s you that speaks.
Spells are very captivating. It is a tamed, magic, spell you’ve been under, you’ve been under this influence all your life.
Your voice has always been functional and capable, but under its muting creed, it couldn’t show its truth. It would have been dangerous to do so. To speak up for one’s self would never have been acceptable in your home and societal norms. Absorbing all these nuances, you had no choice but to bow down instead of standing straight. You had to adapt a child-like voice, always searching if it would be acceptable to speak.
Now, through your own descent into your own shit, you are coming of age in having an adult voice along with your adult body. Through understanding, you are owning your voice and ALL its inflections. You are no longer serving the mute. Now, you get to give your voice the recognition it has deserved and you get to cultivate its capabilities. You honor your inner children, everyone one of them. They have Intelligence that they wish to speak into being.
Through your voice, you get to command what you need. It doesn’t mean people are going to give you what you need in that instant, it means your voice is now being recognized by you. It’s the true voice recognition. Through consistent use, you are cultivating and growing an adult voice, one that speaks for all your inner children who didn’t get to speak. A choir has to practice, it has to sing it like it feels it.
Recently, my husband and I had a conversation. He had been communicating with our pool company via an email to get some things completed. I felt that I wanted to communicate via email to have the manager come to our home to explain some things. I needed the benefit of an in-person house call. So I told my husband my plan and read to him what I had written. He didn’t agree, he thought we should wait for a response to his email.
In order to grow my voice, I have to use it. I listened to what my husband said and proceeded to use and send my voice via email. It’s that important to me, to give ALL of me the option that I never had before, but now I do.
You want to use your voice option on a regular basis, but first, it will be scary. You’re going to be consistently afraid and this is very natural. Be afraid AND speak, it’s not either/or, it’s AND. “I will be afraid AND I will speak. I may shake AND I will speak.”
Speak on behalf of ALL of those who were told (either directly or indirectly) to be mute.