Going through My health challenge has allowed many epiphanies. Although extremely painful, It has allowed Me to uncover and dis-cover the authentic Me….the Me, Who IS light AND dark, positive AND negative, up AND down. I AM both, I AM ALL.
You see, I was emBODYing only the positive. I was aware of the so-called negative, but I would only scratch the surface of It…..It was very deep, which I wasn’t fully Conscious of. I did write about BEing both, but I wasn’t practicing BEing both….saying and BEing are two different octaves. I used the positive AS an elixir because It felt so good and It did feel good reaching heightened states of awareness….Oh, did It feel good. Yet, THIS IS a pattern in My life and ONE THAT I fully recognize.
When You are authentic, You’re able to show and talk about Your triumphs and Your challenges. They are mutually inclusive, not exclusive. I was going through quite the challenge with My daughter and the birth and journey of My granddaughter, Who was born at 1 lb. 11 oz.
I was feeling so high on ONE end of the spectrum feeling light and utilizing light language and then I would feel into the other spectrum where I was afraid, but didn’t talk to any”ONE” about My fears. I wrote about My fears, but the depth was too much for Me to just utilize writing AS a tool to see It. Thus, You can see the huge dichotomy appearing and ONE THAT I didn’t assimilate very well so the crash happened. Like I said, I see THIS AS a real pattern with Me, and NOW I can fully recognize MySelf and begin aNEW.
You see, My pattern IS I don’t stand UP for MySelf and ask for what I want. I allow others to voice Their challenges and concerns, but I would only casually talk about Mine. I was hiding My light and My dark. We ALL have a shadow side and It’s important to let THIS out on a regular basis. THAT’s how We have “real” conversations.
Our bodies are like pressure cookers and, thus, We must let steam off on a regular basis so THAT the build UP IS not so great. In addition, It’s important to use energy medicine to zip up the energy so THAT when You go out into the world, You are protected.
We ALL learn, grow and evolve through many means. I thought I was doing THIS through JOY, but the contraction was here AS well. Just like breath, the expansion and contraction are here and needs to BE OWNed. THAT which You OWN, You can have freedom to do AS You wish. If You keep running from THAT which You OWN, which IS inside, You will keep escaping, but Yet, You never escape. It will BE PRESENT ONE way or the other.
I can’t say THAT I’m grateful for My experience or THAT I can feel God, but I do understand in a miniscule way THAT I AM BEing guided. I AM BEing given the AHA’s and BEing shown so many things through the dark side of the Soul. It IS to BE human, the best human THAT You can BE. 🙂